We live in a society where everything is somebody else’s fault, and as a result feel we have no ownership of our own lives or what happens with it. Most people have a victim mentality.
When I say everything is somebody else’s fault, what I actually mean is that we like to think everything is somebody else’s fault. This is a terrible mindset to get trapped in.
A person who believes they have no responsibility for their life will never feel the need to make a change. They feel that since they aren’t in control anyway, there is no sense in trying to change.
If you’re late to work, is it your fault? You may be thinking, “it depends.”
Maybe you left a little late because your daughter hid your keys, maybe there was just more traffic than usual today, or maybe a train stopped on the tracks blocking your only route to work. Is your boss going to accept any of those excuses?
“Well Jacob, I think a nice boss would understand.” If your boss ‘understands, he’s just feeding your victim mentality. Who would you rather have directing you at work; the boss who ‘understands’ and is letting you slip by with sub-par performance, or the boss who keeps you responsible and pushes you to do better.
The truth is, everything should be seen as a direct outcome of your actions. If you blame your daughter for hiding your keys, you will be late to work tomorrow too, because it’s probably pretty funny watching daddy freak out about his lost keys.
When you take responsibility for your lost keys you will accept that you need to put your keys somewhere your daughter can’t reach so you aren’t late again.
Those that live with a victims mentality never get better. A ‘victim’ will say he didn’t get the job because the manager only hires hot girls, or that his girlfriend left him because she was obviously cheating on him.
If he would take a look at his own flaws for a change he would realize that woman who got the job was much better qualified than him, and his girlfriend left because he paid no attention to her.
Be sure you aren’t getting caught in the trap of making excuses. Excuses are just the verbalization of a victim mentality. Many people are so caught up in excuses, it is now a natural part of their dialogue. These people say “but” a lot. You can expect many of the things they say to sound something like, “I was the best choice for that promotion, but…”
Did you know almost everybody thinks they are better than almost everybody else? Many studies have been conducted and show that a majority of people say they are of average or above average intelligence.
I bring this up because this sense of feeling better than everybody else is a major factor in a person’s need to make excuses.
If you are [or think you are] better than everybody else, it only makes sense that everything negative that happens to you is their fault. You don’t want to accept that you don’t have a great relationship because of what you bring [or don’t bring] do the table.
Well unless you see it as your responsibility, you’ll never have a decent relationship. Yes, your significant other needs to take full responsibility for what they bring to the table as well.
These principles carry over to fitness as well. Here is a small list of the excuses I hear when it comes to health and fitness:
- I have poor genetics.
- I don’t get paid enough to buy all the supplements and organic food I need
- That guy only looks better than me because he’s on steroids. (He’s not)
- I don’t have time to workout because I work full time.
- I twisted my liver last year and that like pretty much a lifelong injury. (Okay I haven’t heard this one, but that’s how they all sound at this point.
These are all forms of putting blame on something or someone other than yourself, on your genetics, your job, your spouse, your injuries, the list goes on…
You won’t see anybody saying, “I just don’t want to work that hard”. But that is the most accurate reason there is.
IF you want to better yourself…
Lose your sense of entitlement and start taking full responsibility for what happens to you. Until you do these two things you will always be stuck in place caught in a web of your own excuses.
Once you accept everything in your life as your own responsibility, you can begin changing all of the factors affecting your own success in work, fitness, family, and health.